BRAIN BITES

 DANCE OF THE DEAD (2008) USA 1hr 27mins Dir: Gregg Bishop "Ah Hell!" - Gravedigger "But I don't know how to shoot a machete"- Gwen The students of Cosa-Rosa High are preparing for their Prom night but things are going to get messy as the nuclear power plant right next to the cemetery is chucking out some weird fumes. The graveyard comes alive and a group of dateless nerds, losers, cheerleaders and a bully band together to save the day! Main loser Jimmy Dunn (Jared Kusnitz) almost loses his girlfriend Lindsey (Grayson Chadwick) after getting detention from the truly obnoxious science teacher Mr. Hammond (Johnathan Spencer) purely for the fact that he cannot take anything seriously, he soon proves him wrong. Lindsey goes to the prom with someone else but doesn't quite make it there as a jaunt with her horny date takes her to the cemetery just as the dead rise and what a glorious sight to behold it is. The group of unlikely heroes team up at a funeral home and...

 PLANET TERROR (2007) USA/Mexico 1hr 45mins Dir: Robert Rodriguez "I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge" Tony Block "I was gonna be a stand up comedian... who's gonna laugh now?!" Cherry Darling A bio chemical outbreak and test subjects are unleashed at a military base in a remote part of Texas. Chemical engineer and allround dodgy guy with a penchant for collecting his enemies testicles, Abby (Naveen Andrews) was working with a team of corrupt soldiers led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce Willis)  and had made a transaction to create a bio chemical agent known as DC2 but Muldoon soon found out Abby had a secret stash and was looking to sell it on the black market. So they take him hostage, in the ensuing carnage the deadly gas and test subjects are released on the unsuspecting townsfolk. Meanwhile, Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan) quits her job as a go-go dancer and grabs a ride out of town with her ex, El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez). Swerving to avoid something...

 Over the next few months I will be doing reviews of SEND MORE PARAMEDICS three (soon to be four) main albums with a brief overview of their other EPs and musical career. Ending with a bite by bite account of their reunion shows celebrating 20 years since their reanimation happening in Leeds and London on the run up to Halloween this year. This is incredibly exciting for me, being zombie obsessed since childhood the discovery of this band as a young adult made my life complete. Even after they crawled back into their graves in 2007 (returning briefly in 2014), we the fans have never forgotten them. So before I really start to choke up with nostalgia... for those of you that do not know about this band let me introduce you to... SEND MORE PARAMEDICS B'Hellmouth - Vocals Medico - Guitar X. Undead - Bass El Diablo - Drums Formed in Leeds, England as a side project from members of the band AND NONE OF THEM KNEW THEY WERE ROBOTS these 80's zombie B movie fanatics named themselves SE...

 Hello to all you beautiful rotting corpses! Welcome to the August installments of BRAIN BITES! I hope you enjoyed July's Romero month reviews of the later trio in the DEAD franchise. These and the more popular earlier movies will always hold a special place in my unbeating heart and I had loads of fun revisiting them. If you missed them then please take a quick look back and see if you agree with my thoughts on these fun and inventive later offerings. The zombie movie rumour mill has been rife these last few weeks with some interesting news flying around like the eyeballs and entrails in a feeding frenzy. The juiciest of all being the new series coming to the SyFy channel in October entitled DAY OF THE DEAD. A ten episode series which seems to have nothing to do with Romero's original tells the tale of 6 strangers surviving the first 24 hours of a zombie apocalypse and is written by Jed Elinof and Scott Thomas writers of The Banana Splits Movie (2019). Understandably on the fi...

 SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD (2009) USA/Canada 1hr 30mins Dir: George A. Romero "Last time anyone counted 53 million people were dying every year, 150 thousand everyday and 107 every minute" Sarge "Nicotine" Crockett "Shooting the living and sparing the dead... that BASTARD!" Patrick O'Flynn A few weeks into the outbreak a small team of soldiers led by Sarge (Alan Van Sprang) go AWOL in the hope of leaving the massacre behind and finding a safe place to ride it out, somewhere quiet and out of the way...like an island or something. It just so happens that the perfect place, Plum Island just off the coast of Delaware is but a mere drive away. Unbeknownst to them though Plum Island is in the midst of a civil war. If the walking dead weren't enough, two rival families, the O'Flynns and the Muldoons, have been feuding for years over just about anything and everything. The ensuing zombie apocalypse has done little to change this. Patrick O'Flynn (Kennet...

 DIARY OF THE DEAD (2007) USA/Canada 1hr 35mins Dir: George A. Romero "Don't bury dead. First shoot in head." Asian YouTuber "Survival??! Who the fuck wants to survive in a world like this??" Jason Creed A group of Pittsburgh university film students and their Professor are shooting a horror movie in the woods. They hear news reports of major disruption and stories of the dead coming back and attacking the living midway through shooting. Unsure of what to make of it at first they quickly discover these reports are true and Jason Creed (Joshua Close) turns the camera on his friends to document their ordeal. He calls his documentary "The Death of Death" and aims to post it on the Internet as evidence of what really happened rather than the lies and cover ups the media are portraying. As the world drastically changes around them they try to get to their families before it is too late. DIARY OF THE DEAD is the fifth instalment of the franchise choosing not...

 LAND OF THE DEAD (2005) US/Canada/France 1hr 33mins Dir: George A Romero "I thought this was gonna be a battle... It's a fucking massacre" Mike "the Kid". "They're just looking for a place to go... same as us" Riley Denbo. Some time ago the dead took over the majority of the world. Today in a relatively safe city protected by rivers on two sides and a fortified electric fence on the other, the "haves" live in luxury in a posh apartment complex called Fiddlers Green and the "have nots" live in slums outside the complex. Subdued by the rich folks who distract them with gambling houses, drinking and prostitution. A group of "have nots" controlled by the big boss, Mr. Kaufman (Dennis Hopper), led by Riley Denbo (Simon Baker) and his wild card second in command Cholo DeMora (John Leguizamo) go on their final nightly supply run with their team. Riley is planning on getting out of town as soon as possible and Cholo is busy s...