Film Review: COOTIES (2014)

 COOTIES (2014) USA 1hr 28mins

Directors: Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion

"Oh look... CARNAGE!!!" - Doug

"A line has been crossed. You can't eat the teachers man!!" - Wade

"Water won't hold them off!"- Clint

"It ain't water... nap time motherfuckers!!"- Wade

In the small town of Fort Chicken, Illinois the Happy Poultry Co makes a dodgy batch of chicken nuggets. The nuggets in question are cooked up in the cafeteria of Fort Chickens elementary school where one unfortunate child tucks into it. In the meantime, Clint Hadson (Elijah Wood) returns to his parents house at Fort Chicken, as he struggles to finish his novel he takes on a substitute teacher role at Fort Chicken elementary, his old school. He meets up with Lucy (Alison Pill) also a former student (and crush of Clints) who is now teaching at the school. The student that ate the infected nugget is in Clints first class and not looking great and it's not long before she attacks one of her class mates. By break time the infection has spread to numerous students and they start attacking the teachers consuming them on the playground. Clint and Lucy are holed up in the teachers lounge with fellow teachers Tracy (Jack McBrayer), Doug ( Leigh Whannell), Rebekkah (Nasim Pedrad) and sports coach (Lucys current boyfriend) Wade (Rainn Wilson), as they watch the carnage unfold the zombie kids soon turn on them. As a group they have to work together which is difficult as Clints crush on Lucy becomes apparent and the rivalry between him and Wade gets more ridiculous. Still they manage to escape the school and get to the next town to find help but has the virus beaten them to it?

This highly entertaining zombie horror comedy has its balance of dialogue, timing and gore down to fine art. From the intro which quite graphically depicts the cause of the infection it slows down a little to set the individual stories down before gradually picking up again as pig tails get pulled off, kids get bitten and teachers get disemboweled. Not to mention kids killing kids, kids killing adults and adults killing kids in glorious detail. The accomplished all star cast of Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson and Leigh Whannell is complimented greatly by the addition of Alison Pill, Jorge Garcia, Jack McBrayer, Nasim Pedrad, Ian Brennan and Peter Kwong as the fantastic yet slightly under utilised Mr. Hitachi! They are all great characters and well acted by all. I did think that at times Wilson did seem a bit bored but I think it was the way his character was written more than anything else. I would have liked to have seen more of both Jorge Garcia and Peter Kwongs characters but I get that it is mostly all about Elijah Woods character Clint. He plays it so well as the nervous, down trodden writer that has to revert back to teaching not to mention having to move back home just as a child led zombie apocalypse erupts. COOTIES  is one of my favourite Leigh Whannell movies and his character, Doug, is by far the funniest of the whole movie. Underplayed at first he really blossoms by the second half and will have you laughing out loud.

I have never been a fan of kids or child actors in general but with COOTIES they have the right idea. Keep the kids dialogue to a minimum and just have them running around as crazed cannibalistic zombies having them kill people and get themselves killed in hilarious ways! It is huge amounts of fun! Practical effects are key here and they take great pleasure in making the kids look as diseased as possible. Drooling savages with pus filled boils and bits of flesh falling off are the look they have gone for and if normal kids weren't scary enough then these will surely put you off. They have opted for the running type as swarms of fast moving zombie kids is a terrifying sight. I also love the twist they put on the the way the virus affects different age groups. The script is very cleverly written by Whannell with enough action and gooey brain extractions to distract from the rom-com elements which are fairly strong but the well timed jokes, mostly at Elijah Woods expense are as endearing as they are hilarious. Clint "you carry on with your symphony of death. I'll sneak around the school where there aren't any kids." Wade "Oh you'll sneak around, huh? Sneak around like a little Hobbit! I'm taking the fight to them like a fuckin' Orc!". Wade also finds it difficult to say "duel rear wheel" and we find out that Doug suffered a brain injury as a child which makes him just that little bit extra. As well as THE LORD OF THE RINGS jokes there are a few other hidden tributes within the movie to some other shows. For example in the teachers lounge there is a mirror that bares a resemblance to the Dharma logo in reference to the series LOST that Jorge Garcia used to be in. Even though the emphasis is not greatly placed on the gore all of the time it is there but it is strategically done with some bits left to the imagination with great effect. I guess it can be likened to SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004) in the fact that this could easily be a good starter movie for budding zombie enthusiasts... almost a family movie of sorts?! The soundtrack is fitting and it has some hilarious montage sections. The ending is certainly odd,  finishing rather abruptly and very inconclusive making you think a sequel would be on the cards but as yet has not materialised.

COOTIES deserves the praise that it has got but I think it really needs to be opened up to a wider audience so if you haven't seen it then I hope you seek it out straight away. I give COOTIES a score of 3.5 brains out of 5. It's funny and stupid in equal measures, well written and a great concept. If there was just a little bit more zombie action and a proper ending I would have scored it a little higher but it is masses of fun and another great movie from Leigh Whannell.

COOTIES is available to buy or rent on Amazon Prime and on DVD and Blu Ray so don't delay go watch it today!!